"I feel so angry / lonely / rejected / lost - because of him"
Perhaps you just can’t move on from the father of your children or other past relationships. Perhaps you’re angry by the way you’ve been treated. Perhaps you secretly hope he’ll take you back into his loving arms and the rejection will fade away. I know how hard it is to move on after you’ve been crushed for one reason or another. That’s why I have chosen to pair this very powerful tool with letting him go. This tool is so effective that I spend almost all of my time using it when coaching single moms.
Change Your Story: Emotional Freedom Techniques (Tapping)
You can’t move forward until you’ve let go of the past.
If you were to believe that you could release yourself from your ex by jumping up and down on one leg while patting your head and barking like a dog, would you do it? Well this tool will help you with that and you won't need to feel quite so silly doing it - well, perhaps a little at first.
EFT requires you to tap your fingertips on certain points of your body while voicing the truth of how you feel. These points on your body are called energy meridians. Using these techniques we can tap out resistance that has been holding us back and then tap in positive feelings and expectations. Like all the other tools you can try it on anything; with EFT you will feel some kind of intense shift.
EFT was discovered by Gary Craig in the mid-nineties and is now being used by millions of people around the world with amazing results. It is similar to tapping acupressure, based on the same energy meridians used in traditional acupuncture for over five thousand years, but without the use of needles.
The magic really is at your fingertips.
The instructions below will get you started but take a look here for videos and other tips.
1. Where in your body do you feel the emotional issue most strongly?
2. Rate the distress level in that place in your body on a scale of 0 to 10, where 10 is maximum intensity and 0 is no intensity:
10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0
3. The Setup: Repeat this statement three times, while continuously tapping the karate chop point on the side of the hand
"Even though I have _______ (name the problem), I deeply and completely accept myself.”
4. The Tapping Sequence: Tap about 7 times on each of the 8 energy points in the diagram, while repeating a brief phrase that reminds you of the problem.
5. Determine your distress level again on a scale of 0 to 10 again. If it’s still high, say:
"Even though I have some remaining _____ (problem), I deeply and completely accept myself."
6. Repeat from Step 3 till your stress level is as close to 0 as possible.
This is an amazing self-help tool and is so simple that you can perform it on yourself, but an experienced practitioner can help you to identify your barriers and acts of self-sabotage, and their services will often work when nothing else does.
Here’s an example, but remember that it’s most effective when you use your own words and feelings….
1. Where in your body: Rejection in my heart
2. Determine the distress level (0 to 10, where 10 is maximum intensity and 0 is no intensity): 8
3. The Setup (tapping on the karate chop point):
"Even though I have this rejection feeling in my heart, I deeply and completely accept myself."
"Even though I have this rejection feeling in my heart, I deeply and completely accept myself."
"Even though I have this rejection feeling in my heart, I deeply and completely accept myself."
4. The Tapping Sequence (tapping on each of the 8 points):
This rejection feeling
This rejection feeling in my heart
This feeling in my heart
Feeling so rejected
This rejection feeling
This rejection feeling in my heart
This feeling in my heart
Feeling so rejected
5. Determine your distress level again (0 to 10, where 10 is maximum intensity and 0 is no intensity): 6
6. Repeat from Step 3:
Tapping on the karate chop point
"Even though I have some remaining rejection feeling in my heart, I deeply and completely accept myself."
"Even though I have some remaining rejection feeling in my heart, I deeply and completely accept myself."
"Even though I have some remaining rejection feeling in my heart, I deeply and completely accept myself."
Tapping on each of the 8 points
This remaining rejection feeling
This rejection feeling in my heart
This feeling in my heart
Still feeling so rejected
This remaining rejection feeling
This rejection feeling in my heart
This feeling in my heart
Still feeling so rejected
Balance: Sometimes in order to see the positive, you need to take a look at the negative first.