Single Mom’s Dating Lie#5: My children need and deserve all of my time

"I need to put my children first!"

Yes, your children do come first and they don’t need men coming in and out of their lives taking up all of your time and energy but is that really how it’s gonna go? 

You do deserve a little time off now and again and I’m sure you’d like to set an example for your children. Show them how a strong woman carves out time for herself, how she has fun in a respectful way and eventually how to have a healthy, loving and committed relationship.

Change Your Story:
Get Some Clarity... be honest with yourself... 

Before asking yourself the questions below take a couple of minutes to ground yourself first. Being grounded helps you to be present, move into your body and think more clearly...

Take your shoes off and bury your feet into the ground, if you can do this on some grass or into the earth even better. Close your eyes and imagine you have roots growing deep down into the earth. Breathe slowly, with each inhalation feel your breath moving up your spine. Pause, and with each exhalation feel your breath moving down your body and into the roots as they grow further into the earth. You’ll feel a difference in your body after just a few minutes.

Now write down your answers to the following questions in a journal (or a napkin, whatever you can find). There are no right or wrong answers, the aim is to get to know yourself and your situation.

When taking time for yourself or going on a date:

  • Do your children suffer?

  • Do you feel guilty?

  • Are they in good hands?

  • Do you feel that you can give more of yourself to your children afterward?

  • What is the worst that could happen when you do finally introduce the man in your life to your children? …yes, write it down  

  • What is the best thing that could happen?

  • Do you think it’s possible for a great man to enrich the lives of everyone in your family?

  • Did any other issue surface while answering these questions?

To fully be there for your child, first be there for you!